The Loneliness Epidemic of Motherhood

I recently read an extract from Life After Birth by Sophie Walker and Jodi Wilson in the Courier Mail (12 - 13 July 2025), and it made me stop in my tracks. Why is it that becoming a mum can feel so utterly lonely?

I’ve felt that loneliness myself. But I noticed early in my motherhood journey that I wasn’t going to fix it if I just sat there, wallowing in it.

We go along to all these different things – baby rhyme time, mums and bubs yoga, playgroups. And it’s so easy to walk in, experience whatever is on offer, concentrate intensely on your own baby (hello, social anxiety), then leave without having a single meaningful conversation. Small talk? Sure. But anything deeper? Rare.

Our small talk game definitely needs work. But honestly, it’s more than that. We’re just flowing from one place to the next with our kids, hardly making eye contact with other parents around us.

I bet if you stopped and asked a group of mums at playgroup, “Who’s feeling lonely right now?” – almost all would put their hands up, except for the two or three fortunate mums who’ve miraculously formed a tight-knit little click. And while we often complain about how “cliquey” mums’ groups can be… maybe that’s because we’re all just desperately hanging onto our lifeline. Our friendships. Our sanity.

There’s a deeper issue at play here too when we are exploring loneliness in motherhood. Anxiety. Social anxiety. Postpartum anxiety. Overwhelm. I’m not qualified to comment on the clinical side of it, but I do know how intense that fear of speaking can feel. It’s taken me so much practice to approach conversations confidently and open myself up to others. That fear only got worse with postpartum anxiety in the mix.

But here’s the good news.

This is actually the perfect time to make new and lasting friendships. We’re experiencing something intense, crazy, and totally magical. Motherhood. That shared experience is an incredible foundation to build a friendship on.

But it’s not enough to just bond over coffee or sleepless nights. If we want friendships that stick, we need to find our mums’ tribe with our true interests at heart.

For me, I was a music festival girly who loved to dance and go clubbing before Bub came along. So I created the Thriving Mums Club – a place where likeminded mums who also love music, lights, and excitement can come together.

If you’re a yoga girly, join the mum and bub yoga or pilates classes. If you love being outdoors, there are so many mums’ walking groups popping up lately. You’ll be more likely to form friendships if you’re doing something that genuinely lights you up and bonds you together beyond motherhood alone.

I totally acknowledge there are so many barriers to getting ourselves out of the house postpartum. It’s not easy. But it’s also not all doom and gloom out there. There are ways to create new and lasting friendships.

And when you do vibe with someone because you finally came out of your shell and said those first few words: give them your number. Connect on Messenger. Don’t let the moment pass.

Because if you don’t, you’re wasting your good intentions. And you deserve the friendships that motherhood makes possible.

✨ If you’re a mum in SEQld, come along to one of our events. I pour my heart into creating magical spaces where you can truly connect and form those lasting friendships we all need 💛

Thriving Mums Club - Brisbane North

17 August 2025, 9:00 – 10:30 amPeach Tree House

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Thriving Mums Club - Brisbane South

10 August 2025, 9:00 – 10:30 amArcherfield Wetlands Community Hub

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